Media that moves me, If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away

The first time I heard this song, was on my Uncles Birthday. Ironic? Yes. Driving alone in my car coming from Tucson to Phx. [aka Tear City for Kelly in the car] And even more ironic, that night Nicki text me to ask if I was doing okay (which I immediately thought- how did she know I was crying?! but it was because she knew it was his birthday).



It makes me think, what is my version of the song?

I'd bring mom with me and have a girls day with her and my Nana. Afterwards we'd have some Pepsis with Aunt Peggy and Aunt Patty.
I would give my Uncle Eric the biggest hug and talk to him about graduation. and life. and everything. and maybe watch an episode of Doug.
Grandpa Bill and I would sing the oldest songs ever together.
Haley Ford and I would take a dance class with her mom watching by.
Great-a-moomoo (my great grandmother) would tell me stories of when my grandfather was younger.

Those are just a few things I would do if heaven wasn't so far away.

Words can be hard to come by

You might have read this and wondered what the deal was. Well...

I'd like to complain about a someone in my life who has always caused me some sort of grief, or sadness, or a sense of unwelcomeness (yeah I just made that up).

And even though I know living my life has made me a very strong individual, I sometimes wish for the person that so many others have.

I almost feel like this is the perfect picture for a post secret confession.

Thankfully, my mom is so fantastic at filling the void. My uncle was/is a great replacement (even though he's not here).

uncle eric

I went to delete an old e-mail account today, and instead spent 30 minutes reading old e-mails between my uncle and I. I miss him very badly.

and I know he knows that.

but that doesn't make me miss him any less.

love you Uncle Eric,
nutcase.

Mazie

So Mazie was The Johnson's dog. But didn't get along with their other dogs. So she moved in with my Uncle. Who, referred to himself as the dogs caregiver. [even though we know he loved he soooo much. In the hospital he would always perk up when we talked about Mazie]

And now she lives with us. Which I love to the moon and back. It's like having a piece of his heart walking around. And pooping around.

Because yes, the point of this post is Mazie pooping in the house.

The other morning I woke up to a stank, and found a little Mazie treat for me.

But it is impossible to be mad at her, because she punishes herself.

When Mazie has done something wrong she acts like you are screaming at her, even if you use your softest, nicest voice. Sort of like when parents use the "I'm disappointed" thing. [the worst, right?]

She attempts to make her body mold into the floor while attempting to avoid eye-contact, with subtle puppy dog eye glances. She also wags the last 2 inches of her tail to melt your heart.

And it totally works.

avoid eye contact/puppy dog eye stage

the beginning of the melting in to the floor stage

Poop on Maze, because I could never be mad at you. 

[although, I would like to add- she rarely poops inside. the storms have her a little jazzed up]

He's all grown up!

Believe it or not, my little brother Brandon is all grown up! He just graduated from High School and I can't wait to see where the future takes him!

Congratulations Brandon!

family

presenting the colors

look at those seniors

that blur next to the woman in the maroon, Brandon. 

"Give it up throw your hats in the air"

"Baby you're a firework" [yeah Im interested in music quotes tonight]

:)

The Hovland Family

Makes me think of my own graduation day. And this picture comes to mind. 

time flies

I am so grateful, day 6

I am grateful for the dream I had about Uncle Eric last night.

They may not always be good dreams, but I like that it keeps him in my mind.

day 6. 

30 day photo challenge: Day 17

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Recently? Huge impact? No idea.

My 4.0 is very important to me. It's been something I've been striving for for-ever and I'm so happy to have it.

But the most recent thing that has had a huge impact on my life has been my uncles death.

This Christmas season has been really rough. My brother took over his tradition of wrapping our gifts in the funnies from the newspaper, but it doesn't make up for him not being with us.

At least physically.

I know he is with me all the time.

Love you.

day seventeen.

30 day photo challenge: Day 5

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

I don't see how it's possible to pick a favorite memory. So I'll share with you one I just think is fabulous.

This is my Uncle Eric. :) If you know me you already know how much he means to me. He passed away this past March, but he lives with me in my heart.

at my high school graduation. My education was very important to UE

UE and I at UA my favorite spot on campus, the women's memorial plaza.

Uncle Eric won't be taking pictures with me in May, but I know he'll be at graduation.

love ya.

Night Owls

After we spread my Uncles ashes and had some grub with everyone, my mom, dad, Dustin and myself went out for some bowling.

We had a blast!

.50$ games, beer, and food. What more could we ask for!?

A great time.

Which we got.

Dustin is weird.

mom and dad

:)

hey there!

shes precious.

After this bowling awesomeness we waited for a cab for-e-ver. Then we decided, lets walk! A mile and some later we got back to the hotel.

Memorable day followed up by and awesome night.

strike.

Celebrating Life

Spreading Uncle Eric's Ashes

The family gathered to celebrate Uncle Eric and spread his ashes on Mount Lemmon.

Mom, Dad, Grandfather, Brandon, Dustin, Mark, Nikki, Kayla, Cousin Kent and Teresa, Cousin Aaron, and old time neighbors Dale and Mickey came to celebrate.

some of the group

the gangs all here (minus the neighbors who were our photographers)

When we got to the mountain we each got a cup of ashes and gathered for a prayer. After I attempted to say a prayer (mucho crying involved) we each went our separate ways for some alone time to spread the ashes.

I had previously written a letter to Uncle Eric. This was shredded up and mixed with his ashes- when I threw them into the air it made it really easy to see Uncle Eric's new home on Mount Lemmon.

a piece of the letter

When we were all finished we went for dinner and drinks at Risky Business (fitting for Uncle Eric).

The day was truly memborable and I'm so blessed to have had UE in my life, even if it wasn't for as long as I would have liked. He won't ever be forgotten. <3

UE's new home

love you, UE.

Confession Wednesdays: 3

I miss my uncle.

The most wonderful weekend ever. :]

So I just had the most wonderful weekend ever.

Friday-

Got ready for moms party, got our nails, toes, and eye brows done together, and had dinner with Jan, Chris, Dustin, and our family. :] We went to Los Olivos- we had such a great time. Our parents really hit it off. Plus I ordered a margarita. double coolness. After the party, I went home and worked on moms cake for a million years.

Saturday- Got ready for the party from 8 am until 7 pm. :] Then the party began. So many people came- Kirk, Nancy, Grandfather and Sally, Susan, Cammie, Cari, The Shermans, Tracy and Anna, Nicki and Cindy, Dustin, Jan and Chris, Kieren, Jules, Jane and Jerry Capadice, and Bee and Mike, Amanda, Tony and Melissa. It was absolutely fabulous! The food was great, the wine was a big hit, everyone loved the cake, and I got to spend some high quality time with my good friends and family. Here are some more pictures (I'll put more up when I get some from my mom- I didn't actually get to take a lot of pictures.

Then Julie, Cammie, and Dustin spent the night and we played six cups and a die, as well as kings cup with my wasted mom. :] it was hilarious. She opened her gifts, and then in the morning she had to re-open them all because she couldn't remember a thing.

Well that is a pretty good recap of my weekend. Oh! Dustin wrote something like this in my moms birthday card- Its been such a blessing getting to know your daughter and it means the world to Kelly and I that you met my parents this weekend. :] Precious.

Uncle Eric is still in the hospital- everyday is an up and down roller coaster.

memories.

The weekend!

Well its not officially the weekend... I have to go to 2 more classes... and then a house corp meeting... but THEN its the weekend.

Tonight: Have you seen in Date Dash. Fabulous. Julie and I are going as Coyote Ugly bartenders. :]

Dustin can't go, he has a butt load of homework to do, and work til midnight.

Tomorrow, Friday: Leaving for Phoenix at 8:30 am... going to get pedicures with mom. Then grocery shopping for the party, baking the fabulous cake, getting the house all ready, laundry, etc. before dinner with my family and Dustins family. That's right. They're finally meeting. :]

Saturday: The party of the century. "Like a fine wine, everything gets better with age" Its my moms 50th birthday and its going to be awesome. I won't go on too much about that because I have full intentions of loading a ton of pictures after the weekend.

Uncle Eric is still in the hospital. They went in and took more pictures of his lungs today, and they're going to start talking more surgery options again. We'll see what happens. I'm just glad I have had the opportunity to go home so much. I think I've been home every week that he has been in. So that's nice.

I think thats been all that has been going on in my world. Im out.

Thursday.

Whats new?

So whats new?

Im doing the Panhellenic thing now... and I love it. It's so much easier than my last position at ADPi (MEVP), I get paid, have more free time, the prestige that comes along with the title, the chance to make a difference in the community, the opportunity to be a leader and positive role model for other sorority women, etc. Basically so far so good. I have already- had the deans list ad designed and printed in the daily wildcat and made a 27 page academic resource manual for all 4 councils (PHC, IFC, NPHC, and USFC). Starting next week I will be having one on one meetings with the scholarship chairs from Panhellenic and begin planning the 4.0 banquet with Graham from IFC. Its going to be awesome!

ADPi is... fabulous but I'm just having a few rough parts. I think once we get into the swing this semester I will be fine. Maybe it's because this is our first week of chapter and now we're finally all back together.

School is good. Im only taking 12 units, and they're all on tuesday and thursday. Fabulous. Nothing to special about the classes tho- I'm just trying to finish up some electives now that I am done with degree number one.

Friends are great. Still love living with Poolsie, and missing brunette number 1 a ton. But good news is that we will all be reunited next weekend at my moms big 50th birthday party!!! But back to Poolsie- it's nice to have a friend I know that I can count on in the good times and bad. :] and I am so glad I will get to live with her for another year and become even closer. Nic Nak is fabulous. We still don't spend as much time together as I would like (I guess that is what you can expect when 2 people who are as busy as we are, don't live together), but whenever we are together its like we never parted. She is such a good, old friend and I am glad Im still so close with her. 9 years... wow.

Family... not so good. UE has been in the ICU for 2 weeks now. His lung collapsed 2 weeks ago- that, plus a mixture of the phenomonia, and lung cancer they diagnosed today- is not good. They'll be discussing more surgery options tomorrow... so we'll see where that goes. I've been home both weekends, but won't be able to go back this weekend. What IS nice is that I will be going home next weekend for my moms birthday party- and will be there Friday-Monday.

Speaking of the party... its going to be INCREDIBLE. I am going to wait to be able to past pictures with the blog... so I'll let the suspense build.

As far as the boy goes... literally all of our friends are breaking up. Todd and Britt started dating 2 weeks before us and broke up a few days ago. So that has me a little on edge. And then today I realized- what if while Dustin is helping Todd recover, from what I can only imagine is sheer devastation, he starts to see the single life as something fabulous? I get that whatever happens, happens- and that God has a plan. BUT, losing Dustin is something I can't even begin to consider. But I guess that's what love is all about. Putting your faith in someone and taking the chance. :]

He is my person.

Well I am going to go for now.

faith.

Winter Break

So I am nearing the end of winter break. tear. BUT it's always exciting to start a new semester.

This winter break has been absolutely incredible. Let me pick up where I left off.

So after Dustin and I came back from Flagstaff we did Christmas gift exchange with my family (Dustin/my family gifts not my gifts for my family). Then Dustin, my mom, and I went to see Avatar (it was alright).

He left on Christmas eve and I spend the day with my family.

Christmas Day was wonderful, as always. This year we had Sarah, Brandons girl friend, joining us. For Christmas I got a Forever 21 giftcard, a new double breasted pea coat, a blow drier, fishing pole, scarf, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas on DVD, cute ballet flats, an amazing robe, a bowling ball and bowling shoes from Uncle Eric, and much more. :]

My family all enjoyed the gifts I gave them which included Vans and a new Joe doll for my brother (to replace the one I ripped), "The Sprinkler Guy" stuff for my dad, workout shoes, a bunch of different things for the kitchen (including new glasses, flour canisters, dish drier, etc.), a workout DVD, and more. I got my uncle a NPR map and made him a picture frame, and my grandfather a grandparents journal where he can write down past memories of his childhood, marriage with nana, etc.- as well as give me advice for the future.

Uncle Eric came over around 11 and stayed until around 2. It is always nice to spend time with him. :]

Grandfather and Sally came over for dinner/lunch which was nice because we didn't think Grandfather was going to be able to make it over (he had gotten sick on his vacation). It was especially nice because I was able to actually have a conversation with Grandfather without Sally interrupting (Thanks to mom and dad for keeping her occupied).

The rest of the day was lovely. I got to see the Reeds before leaving for California which I did on the 28th.

San Diego-

Some of the big events included, New Years eve with Dustin and his friends at Dustins house(31st), snowboarding at Bear Mountain(29th), Playing games with Dustin and Jan, having lunch with Judge and Mrs. Harelson, the Holiday Bowl (30th), strolling around this fancy mall, and just spending time together.

Having small breaks from one another makes our time together that much more special and makes me realize how much I love him and what a huge part he is in my life.

When I got back from Cali I had lunch with Brunette 1 and 2. Most wonderful. We also did some math and figured out we have monthly visits planned for at least the rest of the semester. Wonderful. :] Love them.

I went shopping with my mom and her friend Susan, fun. And we saw Nine (the Chicago like movie- it was good but I like Chicago better). My mom and I got into a pretty bad fight about nothing (but then got over it and went to Church together). We bowled with Uncle Eric (I'm going again tomorrow :]).

My mom was in the hospital for the last 24 hours (we thought she was having a heart attack). They ran a bunch of tests on her and they concluded they think her arm being numb is just a flare-up of the arthritis in her neck. So thats good that there isn't anything going on with her heart.

I've been helping out around the house to get ready for moms birthday party... only 1 month from today! Which also, today would have been Nanas birthday. :]

Umm.. I think thats all that has been going on. But don't let that fool you- I have been just as busy as I am when I am in Tucson. Oh! I applied for a job at The Cheesecake Factory (I hate cheesecake. haha). So we'll see what happens with that. Shannon (Dustins 1/2 sister gave me a reference).

Alright well that is all for now.

new year.

Winter Break!

So Winter Break is here... and its been incredible so far...

Dustin and I started out by going to Winterhaven, which was awesome. Its a christmas light display in Tucson.

Alien Christmas house made from recycled goods.

On Friday we went to Phoenix and hung out with my family- its so good to be back around them again.



Saturday mom, Brandon, Dustin, and I went to hike Squaw Peak- wonderful. :] Mom did such an awesome job- she cut 50 minutes off her time from last winter break [this year we did it in 1:40 min.]

At the top with my love.

Saturday night Dustin and I went to the Nutcracker, which was fabulous. I was in it when I was 13, and the first time I went was with my nana when I was 5, so it was really great to be able to go again.

The 3 Muskateers

Mom with the Christmas tree at the top!

The NutcrackerSunday my mom, Dustin, and I attempted to go to church, but my tire blew out on the freeway on the way there. We got it fixed but not in time for church. So we went bowling with my brother and Uncle Eric, and then to the evening service that night.

Bowling with the family

Monday, yesterday, Dustin and I left for Flagstaff. We went to the Grand Canyon for the first time (that we can remember), had dinner at our hotel (Little America), and hang out in our room. We did our gift exchange and that was also terrific. - Oh, by the way, there were about 7 million Asians there, which was interesting because I feel like the asian population in Arizona is low.

Today we were supposed to go snowboarding but the snow was coming down pretty hard. We decided to drive up to the mountain anyway since it is so close, and on our way Dustins car said it was 29 out... what?! To get up the mountain we needed chains, which we didnt have so instead we stopped on the side of the road to play in the snow. :]

Tonight we are going to San Felipes Cantina for dinner, looking at the Christmas lights here at the hotel, playing the new New Moon game Dustin got for me, and just hanging out.

I miss Kieren and Julie like crazy. These last few months formed some of the greatest friends. :] Coming back to ADPi is going to be weird without Kieren there.... but maybe she'll come down and visit Jules and I soon. :]

Well that is all I am going to write for now...

tis the season.

countdown to Thanksgiving... 20 min!

oh snap! It's 20 minutes until Thanksgiving... and I am totally excited. I am currently waiting on my holiday jello to set, so I can add the next layer to it. :] YESSS. So tomorrow... Thanksgiving. I am still working on the jello, obviously. And I am also in charge of the turkey, which is my favorite, and green beans. LOVE.

I started wrapping the Christmas gifts I got today, and I hope to finish the rest tomorrow. Why? Because we put the tree up on Friday! Mom and I probably won't be doing the camp out black Friday shenanigan (theres nothing we want really worth standing in line for) but we will be spending the day setting the house up for Christmas! YAY! Saturday we're going to hike Squaw Peak, then bowling with my Uncle. Sunday is church and some hanging out before heading back to Tucson. The rest of the semester is going to be short, which is awesome! I have a week and a half left before finals start... which is only 5 days left of classes. :]

Mom and I did some pre-Thanksgiving shopping today, very nice. We also addressed and signed all the family picture Christmas cards to send out next week.

I am hoping this is a great Thanksgiving, and that the holiday family fighting is kept to a minimum. ;] I think we get all wrapped up in the awesomeness that we get a little short with one another. Lets do this... I am promising myself right now that no matter what happens, no getting rude with anyone. perfection.

Well I am going to work on my paper for Psychology of Personality... exciting.

Goodnight world.